i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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