If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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