I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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