It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize