it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
