It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
