Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
