Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
