my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
