My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize