Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize