You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you never un-have a 4some
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
