goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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