trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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