i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
