We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
