I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
