hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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