dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
