is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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