she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
bring money and cleavage
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
