shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
