so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
