when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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