been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
