My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
