Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize