i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
