Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
