The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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