this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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