what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
