"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
