I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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