And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Michael Bay diarrhea
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
