I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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