Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize