guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
