I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize