I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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