I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
time to smoke my breakfast
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
