So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize