just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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