I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
