Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
