someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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