I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
