Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
