I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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