he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
