dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
