Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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