hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
