this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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