Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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