According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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