I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
