Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
