I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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