i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
