Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
