I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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