Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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